Speaking of Love – Don’t Forget Flowers for Valentine’s Day
Imagine having a conversation with someone. Now imagine trying to have that same conversation without speaking or writing. Suppose it was an intimate conversation with someone you love. Suppose the conversation was with someone you’d like to know better. How would you develop a relationship or even carry on a conversation without speech or writing?
That was the situation in 1800’s Victorian England. They had a very strict etiquette. Extreme discretion was demanded at all times. Romantic conversations, even in a whisper or in writing, were off-limits. Emotional expression however, will not be denied. People soon found ways around the rules as they attached hidden meanings to many otherwise normal gestures and objects. Flowers in particular were given special meanings.
Specific meanings were given to every variety and color of flower. As a result, a bouquet of flowers could become a secret message. In addition, the way the flowers were presented, the way they were accepted also added special meanings. Many of the secret messages were romantic, but some were rejections and some were even insults. Complete conversations could be carried on using only flowers.
Small bouquets of mixed flowers, know as tussie-mussies, became quite popular. Together with the secret language of flowers, they allowed intentions to be declared, and refusals and acceptances to be made. They allowed the expression of wishes, thoughts and emotions that people of the time dared not speak aloud.
Eventually the symbolism became so complex that help was needed to decipher the messages. Dictionaries and even whole books were written to ensure that the messages were properly conveyed and clearly understood.
Before the Victorians, other cultures used flowers to express emotions. In ancient times cultures like the Greeks and Persians gave their own meanings to flowers. The Japanese too, created their own flower language. The exact meanings of the flowers and colors change over time to fit the needs of the culture but the use of flowers to express emotions continues to this day.
Many cultures had elaborate and lengthy courtship rituals. The giving and receiving of flowers was often an important part of the process. Those practices led to the prominent place of flowers in our modern culture. Valentines Day, Mothers Day, and Easter, among others, simply wouldn’t be the same celebrations without flowers and plants.
Like the Victorians, we still use flowers to express our emotions. Unlike them, our messages are typically much simpler. For Valentine’s Day this year, instead of sending a simple message, try a bouquet of mixed flowers for a message full of hidden meaning. Search online for “language of flowers” for some great ideas. Be sure to add a note to the bouquet to explain the deeper message. Don’t forget to order your Valentine’s flowers early to ensure a timely delivery.
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